Friday, November 27, 2009

Flashback Friday

Welcome to Flashback Friday! The idea is to post about anything in your past. Put up pictures of yourself in embarrassingly dated clothing. Tell the story of something that has happened. The arena is wide open. Choose any medium you wish, but focus on some element of your past that you wish to share.

Because I'm too lazy to plug my scanner back in.... here are some pics from a little over a year ago.

This is me my mom and Lily. It was taken 5 1/2 weeks after giving birth, and I was back in my size 5 jeans! I wish I could say I'm still that small but I'm no where near a 5... damn birth control lol.... lost all the baby weight and then got fat again, but without a cute little belly this time.

She was just so little and cute (still is)

She had the tiniest, cutest little tootsies :)

I miss her being so little, and she just grew so fast!

I miss having an infant in the house, but I'm just happy that she's healthy and growing like she's supposed to.

♥♥♥I love this little girl♥♥♥

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

So... I've been shopping... Lily on my new bedding.

And... my new cf awareness bracelet :)

Not entirely "Wordless" but it's wednesday!

God Bless

Thursday, November 19, 2009


Isn't this just too cute... Lily has to sit in my lap while I do treatments (and sometimes she takes my nebs away lol) but when it comes time to vest she sits and waits "patiently" (haha whatever) on me lol.

I don't know if I'm sick or not. My lungs feel tight, but I have tons of energy, no fever, coughing up no blood, in fact I'm hardly coughing up anything and it's really light like white (tmi) which is lighter than usual so idk what's goin on. Thankfully it's Tobi time (I'm so thankful for Tobi) so hopefully if there is something goin on down there it will take care of it. But I have noticed a lot of my cf friends are sick so maybe I am too... idk

God Bless everyone, love you guys

Saturday, November 14, 2009

This crazy, hectic life

I know it's been foreverish since my last post :( I meant to post Wordless Wednesday and Flashback Friday for two weeks but never got around to it. And I actually found some baby pictures of me.

Me and my husband have been going through a rough patch for quite a while now and last week things just kind of exploded. And on top of that Lily has turned into quite the terror. I started to post a couple of times but I was just so angry and then depressed, I really didn't want to bring all that drama to my blog, but things have gotten semi better so I'm back. But I have been reading all your posts :)

Lily is now 14 months as of the 5th. She's developing quite the little attitude and completely attached to my hip. I have to do everything because she wants NOTHING to do with J, can't say as I blame her really (I know that's pretty mean but he's become the pure devil lately, not that he wasn't always grumpy). I don't have time to turn around! She's constantly in my lap she screams to be in my lap and if I'm doing anything else I have to pick her up. It's kinda cute because she's constantly hugging and kissing me. But lately that's about all that's cute. If she doesn't get her way (which is quite often, because she's into everything and climbing on everything) she flops around on the floor kicking and screaming, throwing a tantrum. She has refused to sleep in her bed and nobody gets any sleep when she's in the bed and she has fell out on her head for the second time now. IF I can actually get her to take a nap through the day so I can get something done, the second I lay her down she screams I have to hold her the whole time. And on top of that my mother in law has to tell me what I'm raising my daughter all wrong and that I have my daughter spoiled rotten. And it's all my fault! I know I'm gonna miss this someday but I'm pulling my hair out right now.

But she is saying a lot more words now. Her favorite word for now is tickle tickle tickle. It's so cute she'll be looking at a book and say tickle tickle tickle and turn the page and say that for every page. She also said mama and pulled her shirt up the other day and said tickle tickle tickle and I tickled her lol. She loves to be tickled. She's also saying uh huh and uh uh when you ask her if she wants something. But that's only sometimes. And she says "this" and points to everything. It's cute, and she sounds so southern, just like her mama :) lol. She's also got to do everything mama does. I had just gotten done with my nebs the other day and i heard this deep breathing and I turn around and she has my neb holding it just like mommy and breathing in it deep lol. It was cute. If I don't take them and clean them out right away though she grabs em up and starts breathing them lol.

My lungs are pretty good now. Last week they were so tight. I finally started doing my advair like I'm supposed to. It's funny, I've been doing my meds like I'm supposed to, but I ALWAYS forget advair for some reason. But I've forced myself to put it in plain sight right next to my nebs and I've been doing it for a couple days now, and there's a BIG difference. So I'm feeling great.

I hope everyone's doing great

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

CF health update

I hate this time of year! I mean it's all pretty and everything but it makes me feel all yucky.

I was so excited after my last clinic visit when I was told it was fine to just do my nebs and vest once a day. But now I've bumped myself back up to twice a day on Albuterol nebs and I'm actually getting my vest in at least 20 minutes and sometimes twice when I get my little one to take a nap, it's pretty much impossible to vest when she's awake she takes the hoses out and fights with me for the peddle thingy lol. I also got a little exercise in the other day, and hacked my brains out afterward. I guess I finally realized just how out of shape I am. Before Lily was born I was so active but now I'm lazy and soft :( But I'm feeling so much better now I'm not coughing as much and theres not a lot coming up but what is, is a lot lighter than normal so that's good and I feel great.

My sinus' are better. They've been insane but sinus rinse is a GOD SEND and so is sudafed. My sinus headache is gone YAY.

I'm pretty upset about my enzymes right now. Somehow I got switched from Pancrease 20 to Creon 20. I went to my awesome pharmacy (I love them they always get my meds together on a certain day and I don't have to wait when I come in cause it's always ready) and picked up my meds they had called my docs office for a refill on my enzymes and somehow I ended up with diff enzymes. I thought it would be the same because it's the same thing just a different brand, right? I was so wrong my poor tummy has been cramping me to death, I'm all bloated and well lets just say things aren't too pretty. I need to see if I can get them switched back but I haven't really left the house out of fear of catching H1N1 and bringing it in on Lily.

I still haven't been able to get our vaccinations. My awesome bud from the health department said she would stick one back with my name on it when they get them in but they haven't gotten anymore. I hope to get it soon though.

As for my weight loss attempt I have lost down to 146 that's 5 pounds so I guess I'm 1/4 of the way there. I'm trying to go about it healthy and smart. Last time I freaked about my weight I was stupid and went of this crazy diet where I only ate like one time a day and it was pretty much nothing. I lost way more weight then I meant to and I got so sick. I was shooting for 120 (I feel like a twig at 120 as well) and ended up at 116 and I felt like a stick and could not breathe. My pfts dropped like 40% and it's only by the grace of God that I didn't stay there that I was able to pull myself out of that. I'm healthy now and I wanna stay there even if that means I have to keep this huge butt on me.

I've decided to try to get myself back in top shape. I'm doing treatments religiously and I'm gonna try to workout at the very least 3 times a week. I was at 90% before my pregnancy in 08 since then life as a mother is different and i have had no time for me, but since my daughter is bigger now some things are now easier so I have refused to accept 80 as my new baseline. I was at 80 with one treatment and no exercise at all so I'm hoping to try and get back to 90 if I'm not there in December at my next clinic visit I will accept it and I guess I'll just work hard to keep myself there.

I need to live a long time and take care of my baby girl. The first clinic visit after I gave birth to Lily I was all depressed (maybe it's because I had postpartum deppression) and said I wouldn't live to see my baby graduate high school because cf is death sentence and I'd be lucky to live to the 37 years that most cfers live to. I know this doctor felt bad for me and I'm sure he didn't actually mean it but he said "you could live to be 80 it's up to you and cf doesn't have to dictate your life". He also told me I was doing better than 90% of his patients. At the time this went in one ear and out the other. But in the past months after I got semi back to myself again I realized he was right. I don't have to die young. Yes cf is here and makes life challenging and maybe I won't live to 80 but I realized cf sucks yes, but my God is way bigger than cf. It's up to him and not some dumb mutation when and where my life will end. Yes taking care of myself makes life easier and keeping these lungs healthy keeps me from waiting for a transplant but ultimately my life is in GOD's hands. So I'm shooting for 80 years, some of you may think I'm absolutely crazy for saying that since I have a terminal illness but have a little faith people. Besides I know a 60 year old that lives here that has cf. It's true he's had it pretty mild he was diagnosed in his 40's! But that gives me hope that 37 isn't the longest I can possibly hope to live. So I'm taking care of me and my family and trusting God.

This post is WAY longer than I meant for it to be. I just meant to complain about my enzymes and it went somewhere completely different. I have so much to say I just have a hard time getting it out there lol

Well I hope everyone is doing great.
God Bless

Misha and Lil